It's Nice to Re-Meet You
The things we donāt like to talk about with others? Journal them. If I may be so bold, you can take a peep into mine. Itās nice to re-meet you again.
I spent my adult life holding tightly onto money. I then decided to spend it on a three-month adventure-of-a-lifetime to Australia, Bali, and Singapore. Where it has led me to need to recalibrate (energetically, monetarily, and emotionally) in North Carolina where Iām living with my parents again at the ripe age of 27. And Iām not sure at all where Iāll be moving next. With no evidence, I know it will be rather soon. And I have zero doubt that itās all working out for me. However, no matter how intuitive I am, the universe does not want me to know where Iāll be moving next just yet. I am intuitive. To a level that I donāt care to usually admit. I practice tarot. I meditate. I journal. I get spiritual downloads. I can channel peopleās energy. When I coach, I can sense what questions to ask people based on their circumstances without it making any sort of logical sense. I structure my days bizarrely. I live my life quite niche. I observe everything around me at all times, and Iām constantly operating my life around what I intuitively feel is the right next move. I am logic driven. Art and math were both my best subjects growing up. I understand how to operate a business. I believe I was meant to expedite my corporate career into five years to get me here. Itās not only intuition. Itās not only logic. I am successful when I lean into both. The strategy behind pulling the levers behind each of those is a skill that is taken for granted. Our external world operates completely upside down. We treat dating and our love lives in the exact opposite ways than we should. We are scared when we should love. I do not absorb much politics. I get my one newsletter that I read every so often and then I move on. If there was one wish I could grant to our world it would be to cut your news consumption by 95%. The ways we can help our world are by finding your voice, purpose, and niche ā the way we impact our internal worlds are the ways we impact our external worlds. I feel calmer by not watching the news. Itās all biased anyway. I was a journalism major to know as much. And so I live a more content life while feeling more than okay that people may project and call me āignorantā. I had deep, crippling anxiety growing up that showed up as perfectionism, hypersensitivity, and overthinking to the tenth degree. I have never been on medication for it. Therapy, meditating, journaling, talking to friends, crying, listening to music, learning, and so much more have all helped me. I am Jewish. I am still understanding how Judaism plays into my spiritual understanding. I get curious about Buddhism and Kabbalah. I think itās fun to be curious and not tie too much of an identity to yourself. I like drawing, dancing, and playing tennis. I wish I stuck with all of them from when I was younger. My life is meant to be one of challenges. Challenges that I will always alchemize to bring me toward my path. I get really sad when life presents options where I need to keep going when they inevitably require me to lose things from the past. This gets harder as I get older. But it is the way of life. Sometimes I get angry about it too. Things have happened to me that are messed up in my physical world but I know were meant to happen, unfortunately. Itās taken me a long time to heal, and it saddens me every so often that I might always really live with anxiety in some sense. I still have a lot to learn about being a potential partner to someone else. I am shedding old hyper-independent mentalities. I have envisioned the life I want to live. I have smelt it, tasted it, breathed it, known it. And I know Iām going to get it. It might just not happen in the way I imagined, and Iām okay with that. I have found my purpose. And it stresses me out. It scares me. I feel like everything goes against me and nothing is working most of the time. And yet I so deeply know I want to do it anyway. I never thought I would be someone who took leaps like this in her life. What we desire desires us back.
